Feeling and expressing as Asperger's
Human beings have a special ability to decipher the environment where we live and the signals that other humans emit without the need to speak it and in that long evolution we have even created unique parameters where we link terms and assign actions that sometimes do not correspond to the correct use of the word.
Thus, experiencing or perceiving sensations produced by various external or internal causes through the senses is called "feeling", but it is also used as a derivative of sentiment, which is a state of mind or emotional disposition. In both cases it is assumed that people are able to say through words or gestures the above, that is, to express themselves.
However, it is not taken into account that for both things to go hand in hand, it is necessary to have confidence in the one who is the bearer of that catharsis, something that is becoming increasingly difficult because indolence and hypocrisy have been gaining ground.
For those of us who are "Asperger or autistic" this is perhaps our Achilles heel, because unlike many, our ability to order what we feel in order to decipher it has discordant parameters with the rest, because classifying feelings is not an important part of our emotional architecture, without this meaning that we do not "feel" or that we are "foolish" but because there are no filters we lack immediate response to a sentimental stimulus, because our "naive" brain is free of that malice that is the main ingredient in the human being.
However, we adapt when those around us are willing to trust us and repay "innocence" with teaching, but there will always be innate traces of us that we cannot overcome, because they represent the acceptance of being the same.
For common people, who follow invented parameters such as "Human Relations", it is grotesque for someone who does not follow them and does not act in the "correct" way, for example, looking at the person who speaks to them, hugging as a protocol gesture, being a good listener or simply keeping their attention on something that does not interest them.
I have never been an expressive person, although I do not consider myself inexpressive, perhaps the advantage has been that I have not been censored inappropriate gestures because not being "labeled" were considered common and this is something that unfortunately today makes unhappy those who like me are "Asperger", because that pompous name makes everything that is normal is cataloged extraordinary, and to button an example:
In my time at school my biggest problem was never academic but the fact that I talked a lot with my classmates in class and that is why I was inflicted such severe punishments as leaving me without recess, with my father's consent, for the entire fourth grade, without this diminishing my natural relationship with everyone, while currently my son suffers harassment, physical and psychological abuse from classmates, teachers and others for being labeled.
For people who revelry, effusive expressions, shouting and those theatrical impulsivities that demonstrate, perhaps what they themselves would have us believe, those of us who do not imitate them are simply inhuman.
Feeling and expressing has been what has left me the most wounds and to which I have adapted the least despite the many bridges I have tried to invent, so this is perhaps what leaves the most pain to those who are or live with people of my condition, and beyond the points it is important that just as we try to understand there is also someone who wants to understand us.